Sunday, October 16, 2011

A Sample Of Paragraphs

The following was sent out to various people who currently play a significant role in my life.  Below you will see their responses.
"Please write me a paragraph.  I shall put it on my blog.  I am intentionally not giving any further instruction.



Here they are in the order in which they replied:

Buddy Lindsey

I am glad you are my best friend. There are lots of things we can laugh about that nobody else can laugh about, though we do share some of those things (but not all) with precious few others. I wish your shoulder wasn't injured. Get married soon. Haha, I'm sorry if this paragraph was boring. S-T-A-T-I-S-T-I-C-S.

Dallin Hales

I chewed on a tree stump while peeing on a needle in a haystack. I then stuffed a pillow into my ear and tried to draw a picture of Obama with my nose, and i lost 30 pounds. I ran to Africa to say hi to sadam hussein. I killed Steve jobs with an android app. Refrigerator.

Ben Buhr

"LOL I had Ben write a paragraph, too, but I'm afraid it's not rated for family reading.  LOL he makes me laugh."
-Christy Hales Buhr  

Brian Hales (Dad)

James , aka Jimmy, Hales rocks.  He has a sweet blog and is an amazing kid.  He's multi-talented playing several musical instruments, he's a gymnast, very athletic, intensely spiritual, righteous, and makes his parents proud.  Also, the Church is true
Christy Hales Buhr

Whoever came up with the idea of putting Bruno Mars + Eminem in a song together should be abused.  Have you heard this garbage?  But I do need some new music ideas for running, please.  Sougou.  And I'm going to experiment with panoramic pictures next.  Did you know my highschool football coach likes mom?!  I remember when dad went out with my cheerleading coach.  Actually I doubled with them.  lol  I love our family!!  We rock.  :)  The end.  Now I must go back to work.  

Jolie Hales

By raise of hands, how many people like auto-flushing toilets?  If this were an interpersonal conversation instead of a paragraph, you would notice I am not raising my hand.  Sure, the concept is great!  No surprises left behind for the next user, no extra-stinky bathrooms, but the reality comes with consequences.  How many times have I sat down to use the bathroom on an auto-flushing toilet, when it decides to auto-flush mid-business?  Too many times to count.  And it doesn't just flush once.  Oh no.  It flushes multiple times.  Is this our version of a bidet?  Last I checked, we don't offer those in American public restrooms... or do we now, through auto-flushing toilets?  I know the economy is in a rough spot, but really?  The worst is when you're comfortably doing your business, and then you're freaked out of your mind by the sudden loud T-Rex/lion roar and an instant wet booty to accompany it.  You can't jump off, because you're not done doing your business.  If you manage to avoid a heart attack or early labor (for you who are pregnant), then you just sit there, bothered.  Truth be told, I believe that men created the auto-flushing toilet.  They rarely have to sit down, and then their business is done fiber-quick!  But ladies... it's different for us.  Many of us are not so fiber-licious, and we need a little more time.  And we don't have the stand-up option.  So I say, down with auto-flushing toilets!  Time for the creators to do a little adjusting and reinstall systems that only flush after you're done doing your business.  In an society where we're concerned with premature births, heart failure, and angry people, this could be a crucial first step.

Tracy Hales (Mom)

There once was a boy named Jimmy,

Who went on a first date to Desert Star (not many words rhyme with Jimmy - haha),
The evening was great, so it must have been fate,
And the two of them kissed from afar!

Not much of a paragraph!!!


Shane Jensen

My paragraph is going to be a poem:
I sit on my bed.
The guitar stares at me.
The primary book on the keyboard speaks.
My yankee blankee won't let me leave.
While my book begs to be read.
But alas, I reach, with all of my might.
Reach to what seems the furthest point of my sight.
The music begins, I sing to sleep.
All thanks to my iPod, with the 8 G's.
Sweet as Shane.

Scott Erickson

This morning as I walked past a BYU employee who was engaging in grounds beautification I felt the urge to tell them "thank you" for what they were doing. They were kind of far away and glanced away once I looked in their direction so I figured I'd forget it and keep going. It bugged me as I kept walking though, enough that I stood around once I got to my car for a bit wondering if it was really that important that I return to thank them. I finally figured I was burning time in just sitting around wondering and I had nothing to lose anyway, so I went back and told them. I felt good about it and the person responded with a "you're welcome!" so I think it was a mutually beneficial two seconds of our lives.

Zach Romney

As I pondered on what I was going to reply, my mind traveled off into a distant land far far away called summer time.... In that land existed no Homework and all we did was dream about which Office Episode we were going to watch. Many a times we often ran into a the idea of the future and what would become of ourselves, but simply ignored this fact and decided to run back to good old procrastination. Even in the land we live now we run into procrastination every once in a while but the effects of going here a much more immediate then they were in the land of summer time. That land has since been destroyed and as we further ourselves into the further, the chances of returning to that blissful and wonderful place are growing dimmer. I have to end this paragraph by realizing that it has made no sense at all, but my brain is thankful i did not think for a few minutes...'.;'.'

Preston Purnell

You always give these strange instructions like "say 3 words," and "close your eyes. what color is so and so's shirt?" or "write a paragraph." Sometimes I wonder why your mind works differently than everyone else's. I guess you are just meant for other things. For example you can write a whole blog on virtually nothing while I cannot conjure up enough material to construct even a full paragraph. I'm afraid these few sentences will just have to do. Or I guess it just depends on how you define a paragraph.

Kurt Christensen

Guess what I am talking about:

Tear into a ____ of the meanest _______ ________ on the planet, _________ _________. We went down to the lab and cooked up a double shot of our killer ______ brew. It's a wicked mega hit that delivers twice the buzz of a regular _______ _________. _________ packs a vicious punch but has a smooth ______ you can really pound down.

P.S. Roar

Colten Lindsey

As I sit on this bed capable of adjusting to ones preferred degree of incline, having just finished a "treatment" consisting of a reverberating vest and inhaled solutions, I stare off towards the wall that hosts the boxes that encasr gloves constructed of latex, and find that the words to a paragraph that would suffice to fill the body of a foreign blog cohesively, escape me. As such this is what has been produced and provided! It inrigues me as to its use, and I beheath the author of said blog to satisfy my intrigue with a thorough explanation as soon as time permiteth him!

1 comment:

  1. I can't decide which one to comment on. So I'll just say "LOL!"